Trying to stabilize my mood and get back on track.(30.7.26)
UPDATE
1)NOFAP streak broken again on 6.07.26,I participated in an auction held by Queen Cherry,where we had to bid on pics with strokes.I just wanted to raise the number of strokes for the other bidder Jude but he forfeited on the 2nd bid only and I got stuck with 100 strokes and had to do them since I agreed on it.
2)NOFAP streak of 107 days was broken on 28.06.26.
I had been on my off day after a break and was too turned on watching feet for most of the day along with QUEEN CHERRY
At the end of the day when I was too horny and sleepy(my weakness)QUEEN CHERRYsuggested that if 3 new people voted for me to stroke I should give in and stroke.
And Guess what 3 people arrived just then in the audience and voted for me to stroke and they didnt change it till the end😗.
So I gave in and started stroking after a long long time.QUEEN CHERRY instructed me turning me into a subby BETA BITCH for feet.It ended up in a denial since I lost a dice bet with her after 14 edges....where she teased me soo much by telling me to CUM...CUM FOR HER FEET...while I was supposed to resist and stay denied.
(I used to think that once I started stroking,I wont be able to stop again....but weirdly I think I got the habit of NOFAPPING and it doesnt interest me anymore.STROKING...DENIAL....OR ORGASM.....DOESNT MATTER.)
ABOUT ME:
A student,in his 20's,more on the lean side and a virgin.
Likes to read comics,Novels,
Movies,Gardening,Chess.
Also I've got like a ton of stuff to read for exams(like 8 hrs/day acc to study scheduler,lol)..
And the naughty urge's get in the way.(So if you got any tips please do share)
Also contrary to here... irl I'm very uncomfortable with physical touch...like when I go shopping and some random girl even slightly grazes me..I feel like dusting it off.
Because I feel like "I'M NOT YOUR'S SO DONT TOUCH ME"--Maybe a part of my monogamous kink.
What I'm looking for?
MOOD DIARY
Was a CG character GINNY till recently.
Though it was fun,I stopped it bcoz it wasn't really representing me.Also I wanted to find out if people would still talk to me without it/Like the real person as it is.There are some very good people here...and I'm thankful to have met them.
Though A part of me still likes being subby or sometimes dommy,I sort of hate that I like this(anything sexual as well).And the conflict keeps going on and on..
If I had to grade my guilt from highest to lowest then..........doing anything irl>watching porn>roleplay>chatting.
So....TRIED NOFAP,Though its hard and frustrating... 107 days done.Had a small setback in between.
But I'm getting back on it... currently on NOFAP 8 days
Sleepy-whenever I'm sleepy I'm super horny.
Seductive voice--almost makes me follow immediately.
Good people-Cant say NO if someone asks nicely.
When feeling angry or upset.And want to distract myself
-I feel a bit less guilty.
-Super hard boners just from thinking lewd(my mind's dirty)
-More energy and body mass.
-Cravings are much decreased from earlier
-Super frustrating sometimes--need to find other activity to feel good.
-Special thanks to a certain friend who has supported me to get till here.
NOFAP JOURNEY SO FAR
Went from like gooning 7 hours a night to being satisfied with SIMPLE HUGS.
At first it was very difficult to just change..SO SMALL STEPS.
1)SUPPORT FROM FRIENDS HELPED A LOT.
2)EVERY TIME I GOT THE URGE...I TRIED SUPPRESSING IT WITH THE THOUGHT THAT,IF YOU WANT TO DO IT..
.DONT DO IT ALONE DO IT WITH THE PERSON YOU LIKE...WAIT FOR HER.
3)THE URGE LASTED FOR 15 Mins Max....I GOT HORNY AND MESSAGED MANY TIMES BUT WHEN THE URGE SUBSIDED....I WOULD DELETE IT.
4)THEN HUGS HELPED A LOT....HUGS FROM THE PERSON WOULD HELP ME STAY SATISFIED FOR LIKE A WEEK.
5)RECENTLY I'VE BEEN GETTING BETTER WITH THE URGES MOSTLY AT NIGHTS ..BY HUGGING A PILLOW AND IMAGINING IT TO BE A GIRL.JUST CUDDLING WITH IT...TAKES OFF SOME OF THE URGE AND GIVES ME A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.
6)THE STREAK OF 107 DAYS WAS BROKEN RECENTLY.REASON--TBH ITS BECAUSE OF NOT FOLLOWING SCHEDULED PATTERN.
7)STICK TO THE ROUTINES~~SLEEP AT THE SAME TIME,WAKE UP AT SAME TIME,WORK,STUDY,RELAX.... EVERTHING NEEDS TO BE FIXED.DEVIATION LEADS TO A SLIP.
8)NOT TO FEEL BAD ABOUT BREAKING THE STREAK IS IMPORTANT..I STARTED OUT WITH A GOAL OF 20 DAYS AND LASTED 107..THAT ITSELF IS PRAISEWORTHY.GOOD JOB TO ME!!😁
9)ROUTINES A BIT MESSED UP RECENTLY...SO...THE URGES ARE A BIT MORE..COMMON.I SHOULD TRY AVOIDING THE BEDROOM....TO SUPPRESS THEM.
KINKS
As a sub
-Humiliation(Can be gentle or cruel but only to please the partner.
Ex:Tsk...Tsk..FUCK!!.What a loser❌️
Awww....You'll do it for me right?MY dirty little loser✅️
As a DOM:
You know the one you are too embarrassed to admit.BUT DEEP DOWN YOU ALWAYS WANTED IT.Because YOU WANTED TO BE ACCEPTED FOR WHO YOU ARE.SO....Dont resist Now...AND SAY IT.
I wont judge😉I'll accept you for who you are.)
-light bondage+fingering
LIMITS
No deaths,No illegal,No bathroom play,No hurting women,No permanent marks.No Gore/Vore.
For irl:
Mostly not doing anything since NOFAP But if you wanna know~
Anal,Cei,and any dirty stuff.
THINGS I LEARNED SO FAR ABOUT MYSELF
1)Talking with nice supportive people,hugs and to know that someone cares is more than enough.🥰
They pleased me more than any orgasm ever has.
That's why I dont need orgasms anymore.
Special Thanks to my friend to help me realise that.
2)Difference between needs and wants.
-Games,rp,irl games,Porn,etc....they are no longer needs....i.e,I'm not desperate that I need it.
-It's a want...i.e,I play because I want to play with the other person to make them happy.Making others happy makes me happy😁
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