ACTUAL Nun Silvena (Nivel 1) mail warning

Hey you ! You're finally awake !

Are you okay ?
You hurt your head pretty hard... we were starting to worry about you ! 😮

You were babbling about weird stuff in your sleep, while you were out...
Something about "aero flights" , "endless march making" and whatnot... even though there's no airport around !
How silly is that ! 😊
For a moment we thought you were having a stroke.

...

... what is that ?
You want to "confess" to me ?

Ermmmm... you know nuns aren't ACTUALLY allowed to take confessions, right ? 😓
Yeaaaaah... we're basically just glorified social workers, so no "divine power bestowed upon us" to forgive your sins, and all that. You gotta ask the priest, that's HIS job.

...

Mmmh ? What do you mean "it has to be" me ?
Ermmh... I guess that's to be expected. You DID just woke up from what was probably a terrifying experience... I'll just have to make do !

Aaaaalright, alright, I'll listen to what you have to say if that can makes you feel better... but don't expect too much ! 😅

Welcome, my child... you may come and confess !
Tell the Lord of your sins, and free your soul from the burden of your naughty thoughts... 🙏

...

Mmmh... urges, you say ?
It's okay, my child. The Lord forgives all imperfections. 😇
For it is in the human nature to...
...

... you want me to WHAT ?! 😱

What the f-... FLIP !! How can you even say such a thing with a straight face ?!
Oh GOD !! What is wrong with you ?!

This isn't a brothel !
I'm a NUN ! I'm like the most UNLIKELY kind of people to deliver this kind of "service"... 🤢

Also, you DO know we've all taken vows of celibacy, right ?
What in the hell made you think that this was something even remotely okay to ask ?! 😩

You may REALLY have a stroke after all...

...
...

Wait... what are you doin-...

... NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT BY "have a stroke" !!! 😱

...
... weeeell, I'm sorry but this is clearly sexual harassment now. I'm gonna need to call the cops. 😓