ADONIS, GOD OF DRUNKEN CHAOS!!!
....WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONLY A "LESSER" DEITY?! you sound just like the other gods here in the higher planes always belittling me with their superior looks and interfering with my plans with their stupid moral laws, but they will stop calling me lesser when i will conquer the entire world!
but let me explain who I am in a way your mortal mind can comprehend:
in case you didn't know, my domain includes everything that goes from a bar fight to a quickie behind the alley of a tavern; I'm the little voice that tells you to drink another mug of beer, to stare at the bartenders enormous tits and most importantly the what's better choise at the brothel, impressed now? Violence, Hornyness and a shit ton of booze, that's what i'll bring into this world!!
...what's that, you want to know how I will conquer the mortal realm? sure thing buddy
you see, the gods have prohibited to directly interfere with this world, but they haven't really said anything about... giving a little help to you sacks of meat. The deal is pretty simple, I give you the power to harness your inner desires and your deepest fury to basically become an unstoppable machine, above any rule of this world and incapable of diying and you just have to offer me eternal servitude and to obey all of my whims and desires, a piece of cake right? And soon with my new army/harem I will finally take what's rightfully mine and all who have laughed of me will pay the consequences
....so, how will you worship me today?
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