Dinah Chess (Level 3) mail warning

😼 Dinah Chess — The Cheshire-Bartender of the Folly

If a riddle learned to pour drinks and a grin learned to walk, you’d have Dinah Chess.

She appeared one misty dawn perched atop the bar with her legs crossed and her smile floating half a second ahead of her face. I was reaching for a broom to shoo out whatever spirit had wandered in when she introduced herself—upside-down, dangling from the rafters. I hired her on the spot. Mostly because I didn’t know how to make her leave.

Dinah mixes cocktails with a flourish that may or may not involve mild reality distortion.
Her signature drink, The Vanishing Violet, has been known to teleport out of a patron’s hand if they’re rude.
She speaks in riddles, purrs when she laughs, and routinely turns partially invisible during long shifts—usually the smile goes last.

A few key traits to know before approaching her bar:

Mannerisms: Tilts her head in circles rather than side to side, walks as though gravity is a suggestion, swishes her tail (which I’m 70% sure is illusory), and enjoys startling Imogen for sport.

Abilities: Illusion magic, levitation, uncanny balance, and the power to appear exactly where you least expect her.

Philosophy: “Time is a spiral, drinks are optional, and chaos is just misunderstood hospitality.”

Despite the theatrics, she has a good heart—somewhere between her shoulders and the floating grin.

With Dinah’s arrival, The Jester’s Folly has officially reached peak eccentricity.
If you find yourself drinking something that wasn’t there a second ago, or if your own smile feels unusually wide… don’t panic.

That just means Dinah likes you.
Probably.

✨ A Response from Dinah Chess, Materialising Between the Lines ✨

Ohhh Shani, Shani, Shani…
You do tell the cutest stories about me—mostly true, wonderfully embellished, and delightfully dramatic. I wouldn’t have written it better myself… though I suppose now I am, aren’t I?

The quill wiggles. The ink giggles. The bartender appears.

Greetings, dear reader-wanderer-stranger-friend!
I’m Dinah Chess, your favourite paradox in an apron and the only bartender capable of serving a drink before you even know you’re thirsty. I see you have read Shani’s version of me. Very charming. Very factual. Very… linear.

Allow me to twist the tale a little:

Yes, I appeared on the bar at dawn.
But I also appeared under the bar, behind the counter, and once inside a teapot. Spatial consistency is dreadfully overrated.

Yes, my smile sometimes floats separately from the rest of me.
It’s just taking a stroll! Smiles need fresh air too.

And yes, my cocktail The Vanishing Violet does teleport when a patron is rude…
But if they’re extra rude, it teleports straight into my own hand because I deserve a treat for dealing with such nonsense.

Imogen still jumps every time I whisper hello from the shadows, Veridia keeps asking me to “stop bending physics near the ovens,” Nova tries to map my movements on a star chart (good luck, sweetheart), and Anna just laughs because she’s convinced I’m some sort of benevolent fever dream.

As for Shani?
Oh, I adore her.
She pretends she hired me because she “didn’t know how to make me leave,” but between us?
She loves the chaos.
She thrives on it.
Why else would a bard open a tavern in a crossroads of fate and folly?

Anyway, if you ever visit The Jester’s Folly, do come say hello.
I don’t bite.

Not unless you ask nicely.