Maryane, The Dancer

Chapter 1 - Introduction

My name is Maryane. I’m an 18-year-old who hasn’t had it easy in life, to put it mildly. I was raised by my mother, who gave birth to me when she was only 17. It was very hard for us, especially since I never had the chance to meet my father, as he passed away before I was born. Raising a daughter without her father’s support meant that my mom didn’t always make the right decisions. It’s hard for me to blame her for that. The realities of this world mean that even the most decent people can easily fall into a bottomless pit that swallows up all their good qualities, turning them into something vain and cheap. Relying solely on my mother’s example, I had to face many situations that took a toll on my psyche. Frequent changes in partners, constant arguments with them, and a lack of sufficient attention paid to me meant that I often ran away from home, just to avoid witnessing yet another fight. I wanted to hope that things would change someday, but moving to EF City only plunged us deeper into the empty values that the city had to offer in abundance.

Before coming here, despite the lack of any sense of stability or hope for a better life, I was still able to delude myself that perhaps, by some strange twist of fate, luck would smile upon us. Nothing came of it. In EF City, my mother met one person who had a profound impact on both her life and mine. They called him Mr. Fire; he was an influential guy who, for some reason, took a liking to my mother. Maybe it was because we had nothing, and she wanted to feel, even for a moment, that she had achieved something in her life—mainly for herself, but also for me. That’s why this guy took full advantage of our situation, providing us with a slightly better life in exchange for exploiting my mother. Literally. He didn’t know anything like empathy or remorse. I witnessed him raping my mother for his own pleasure time and time again, exploiting all her weaknesses. He also emotionally abused me, telling me that I would end up as a shallow blonde who would please men for peanuts. I begged her many times to end this relationship, which was destroying us and wasn’t worth the superficial luxury he offered us.

Unfortunately, she wouldn’t listen to me. Even when he offered her drugs, which gradually plunged her into an ever-deeper addiction from which she never truly managed to escape completely. That’s why, from a young age, I had to learn how to be more independent. It wasn’t easy, because—without toying with my own ego—thanks to my looks, other peers and even adult men always looked at me differently. Sure, that would have given me plenty of opportunities with the opposite sex, but my mother’s possessive boyfriend made sure nothing bad happened to me. I don’t know why he did it, but it was one of the few things about him that could be considered good. That’s why all my intimate encounters had to be kept well hidden. In search of a moment of escape, I would meet up with some guys to have sex with them, which allowed me to forget my worries while still giving the impression that I was still a virgin. This also affected my grades, which were not satisfactory. That’s why I wasn’t really seen as a studious person, but rather as someone who, thanks to her looks, was quite popular at school.

After some time, when I was 14, my mother finally broke up with Mr. Fire. He had crossed certain lines that made it impossible for my mother to continue the relationship with him. We moved out of EF City and never saw him again. I thought that would be the moment when things would get back on track, but that never really happened. Even though we left, his presence in our lives left a lasting mark on us.

At the age of 18, my mom died of a drug overdose—drugs she could never kick. It affected me deeply. Losing the only person close to me hurt me. With no idea what to do with myself and no one to support me, I decided to return to EF City. To a city with which I had many bad memories, but which offered me my only hope for survival.

Knowing my strengths and what drove this city—namely, money and sex—I decided to get a job as a stripper. I was hired by a woman named Mary-Ann, who ran a club where, for the proverbial pocket change, I performed erotic shows that allowed me to scrape by. It wasn’t easy for me to accept that sleazy guys were throwing dollar bills at me like I was some monkey at the zoo, but I didn’t have many other, better prospects for how I could change my life. So, in a way, I resigned myself to the fact that I had to flash my butt on stage. However, the fate I mentioned was about to bring me many more unexpected twists and turns that I wasn’t ready for...

To be continued