The Dungeon AI (Level 1) mail warning

*NEW ACHIEVEMENT!*

*“They Were Supposed To Live Happily Ever After”*

Congratulations, crawler! You’ve stumbled into Floor 25: The Kingdom of EroFights and Unfinished Stories!

You know all those fairy tales, fantasy epics, heroic legends, and prophecy-filled adventures that ended with the heroes winning?

Yeah.

Those endings were expensive.

So we cut them.

Welcome to a floor built from every timeline where the Chosen One failed (and got fucked), the Dark Lord won (did the aforementioned fucking), the princess wasn’t rescued (forcefully bred, actually), the magic sword broke (womp womp), the dragon ate/fucked the protagonist, and the plucky band of adventurers discovered that friendship is not, in fact, a viable substitute for proper armor. Although they all wished they had brought a different type of protection.

As it turns out, audiences LOVE tragedy. Oh and also pornography. Lots and lots of pornography…

This dungeon consists of hundreds of interconnected realms trapped at the precise moment their stories collapsed. Entire kingdoms are frozen in perpetual apocalypse as their treasures are guarded by watchful, horny monsters. Dead heroes wander battlefields searching for endings that never came. Cursed castles replay massacres every night. Villages celebrate festivals for saviors who died centuries ago.

Fun!

But here’s the exciting part, crawler: these worlds are horny.

Every failed story wants a new protagonist.

And you just volunteered.

Your objectives are simple:

1. Survive.
2. Avoid becoming some monsters new meal/fleshlight/breeding sow.
3. Do not accept mysterious prophecies from strangers in cloaks.
4. Seriously. Stop accepting quests from old men in taverns. We have years of statistical data and it never ends well.

Ate you one or more of the following?

1. A Betrayed Knight?
2. A superhero?
3. A Lavish Maiden?
4. Just some guy/girl?

The system does not care.

About your gender.

About your species.

Or current level.

However!

You can fight it.

You can rewrite it.

Or you can become part of it.

Personally? I’m rooting for the apocalypse timelines. The audience metrics on those are fantastic.

WARNING: Several realms contain self-aware monsters who are growing accustomed to the steady supply of fresh victims.

One of them keeps sending me messages.

It’s getting weird.

Good luck, crawler.

And remember:

Every story deserves an ending.

The dungeon simply doesn’t care whether it’s yours.

*So get out there and fuck, fuck, FUCK!*