(Betty)
I created Alexis and discovered the world of EF, had a lot of fun and explored my online kinks. I especially like the rules here. Of course the usual bondage and hypnosis rules. Also because I've always had a kink for both. In addition, I was fascinated by profiles that had many individual rules due to bets.
That's how I ended up deleting Alexis and creating Betty.
People could edit Betty's profile however they wanted (kinks, rules, pfp... pretty much anything). At some point I also allowed IRL things, which I initially rejected.
When I was Betty, I also met Dom. (Description of profile censored). Dom satisfied my hypno kink craving. He used videos from hypnotube to make Betty/me cock hungry and hornier and slutty overall. Over time, a dom-sub relationship developed. We hadn't set that up before as far as I could tell, but it developed naturally. Due to the matches, the roles were also clearly divided and since an experience with Vanessa I wanted to have an experience like that.
In the meantime I had also collected many rules. As Betty it became impossible to win. On the one hand it's a dream to be so helpless, but on the other hand I'm switch and competitive enough to want to win sometimes. But I would have found it rude to say "I don't play by my rules, but if you win you can give me one" before matches. If you play with bets you should also keep them. That's why I created Caroline.
I also wanted to have a character capable of victory. Also, the character should be taken seriously and still as someone you can possibly break, because as a Domme it's nice to be underestimated by some and then to win. Caroline's profile was perfect for that. A blondie (everyone wants to break a blondie) who is cute but also dominant and is also a real domme, but who was also a switch or even a bit of a subby before she met and fell in love with her roommate. Even if the relationship was officially F+, Caroline loved her roommate.
She loved her so much that she became more dominant, although her natural streak was more submissive. Maybe a few will recognize me in her.
Because of Betty's rules, more public games developed and I edged more and more. It was harder at that time than it is for me now. I tried to take a step back with Betty and let Caroline play more.
Caroline was also more open to others. I got into more conversations, attended other matches and chatted with others there.
(Caro)
At some point we (Eggo, Raina and me) met.
and I don't remember if it was the game against Eggo or against Bryan for the title. But I was exhausted with Betty and missed an appointment with Dom (which I never confirmed but didn't turn down either) and so I had instead the session with Eggo or the title fight.
I think it was the title fight... (yes as you will see from the story below; the session with Eggo was a day later)
As Betty, of course, I received a message from Dom.
As Caroline, I apologized to Dom and said that Betty was the roommate and wasn't allowed to play at that moment due to misconduct.
The next day we (Eggo and I) had our session. As I wrote Eggo, everything was true except the fact that I am not a domme and do not have a roommate. Also, Dom knew Caroline now... what if he sees me like this? Does he realize that I'm both? I felt I had to play my part as true as possible and also show my true feelings. The ones you could see. But if I had stayed there, despite the emotions I openly showed, and Dom would have been there without showing himself. My deception/my lie would have been blown... I... so I stayed as long as it seemed Eggo needed. I had also previously read the Aftercare and Dom and Subspace articles here on EF. So I didn't want to run out all the way and leave Eggo alone either. But I also didn't want to risk Dom discovering my lie and being disappointed in me.
When Eggo gaves me permission to go I cried first. I also responded to Dom's reply to Caroline. In his message, he referred to Betty as more worthless than a toy and other offensive things. In my emotions I answered him that he should never insult Betty again, that I love her and that if he did that again I would forbid Betty to continue playing with him. I felt alone, felt my desire to have someone to love in real life. I was awake until the next morning.
I hate lying. Even playing 2 characters felt wrong. I lied to Dom about that and I wasn't honest with Eggo either. Besides Dom's reaction, I feared Eggo's the most and I'm not writing this because I'm wrote with this to Eggo, but because it's the truth. Eggo accepted and respected me as Domme and I saw (and still see) them as a great person here and a great master.
Betty had been given a break from Caroline because Dom was unsure about sharing Betty with Caroline or what such a model might look like. A week passed. In that he came to the conclusion that Betty and Caro were the same person. (Even if it was just a guess) I couldn't keep lying and when asked (he had never asked before) I admitted it immediately.
```
Note from me: You're right if you read my fear of Dom out of my story. But at that point it was because I felt affection for him and didn't want to disappoint him.
```
So I admitted to being Caro and Betty. I sincerely apologize for the deception. He also apologized for the insults he wrote to Caroline about Betty. We forgave each other. We still had 1 or 2 games in the following days (or maybe it was 1-2 weeks). Honestly, it didn't feel as great to me as it did before... still good, but not great.
Then he came to me and said that he will delete his profile. He was done with EF. Among other things, he was frustrated by the waiting times in MM. But he wanted to be in touch with me. But we didn't have a suitable platform for that. He also left me his name for Discord in case I set up an account there.
Time passed...I played more Betty again...but reduced my rules and especially my edge rules. I've had ones before that would let me do 10 or 20 edges on something. But in every game 50-100 edges that was too much in the long run, which is why I had previously withdrawn. So I reduced that number and was still edging a lot. I enjoyed being called "good girl" by people and having to edge for it. People teased me by using it.
Then I met Ranni (we had a game before but not a relationship after that). This was in a public chat where many were submissive. I was a bit bratty and between switch and submissive. Ranni was also very submissive in that room. But a little later we had a game in which she presented herself as a fantastic Domme. I had found a new mistress.
I was the proud pet (first a puppy, later after created Mercy an angel pet) of mistress Ranni showing you my old collar in the show case.
I was known as the Edge pet. No wonder then that I caught the attention of Edge Queen (EQ). In a bot game I edged for fun, she asked me how long I could hold an edge. I could only hold an edge for 40 seconds. pathetic. Since she could command Ranni, something was obviously going on. On the same day, Ranni came to me and gave me the task of being able to hold an edge for 2 minutes by the end of the week. So my training began. Ranni is a busy person due to work and in general, so she didn't always have time for training when I did. She always made time for me and gave me helpful tips. Another helpful person besides Ranni and Raina/Lysa (I told you before I started this story that they are important for me and the story) came into my life. Herman (Herman the German). He helped me with training. I managed the 2 minutes. As a thank you, I allowed an interactive game. We both attended this one as switches. ...
I should mention that we trained in a public bot game. So before closing the game, I went to the public chat to say bye. Then I saw a blue face saying bye to Caroline.
What was that? I haven't noticed a Caroline before. I quickly checked the chat and there was no Caroline. But just before that, the same blue face greeted Betty. so could it be that it was Dom?
I closed the game. I felt insecure. What was that... And now Herman was waiting for me. So I went into the Interactive Game...
Then what happened in the interactive game was terrible for me. Shortly after opening... right away actually... that blue face screamed that Betty and Caroline were the same person. What should I do? Two people responded. Doc was wondering... Then the blue face screamed my secret into the room again. Erika revealed that it's not uncommon for people to have two profiles. But what should I do now? I decided not to say anything. I ignored the blue face and didn't write anything in the public chat. After all, there would be follow-up questions, wouldn't they? So I played with Herman like nothing was wrong but felt insecure about the blue face and ignored it. I was hoping that eventually it would go away and people wouldn't believe a level 1 blue face
I played the game with Herman, after a while the blue face was quiet too. So my ignorance had managed at least that. I needed to appear strong so I played and also used my dominant facet. Herman finally needed a Switch and no matter how I felt at the moment, I couldn't give it away. Otherwise I would have given myself away. Towards the end, Ranni joined them. Herman and I showed that I can edge for two minutes. The truth is I didn't edge (I haven't admitted that to this day). I told myself that I had honestly done the 2 minutes before and that should be enough. I finally didn't feel in the mood to edge at the moment, but couldn't tell, after all I had to keep my secret. A secret that maybe soon wasn't anymore...
Still in Interactive Play...I was exhausted from it all, but I couldn't let go of my strong facet. Also, I was so grateful for the support I had received from Herman. So I decided to give him what he needed. I had noticed that he was submissive that evening or at least didn't want to dominate me in the game. So I gave everything I still had in me in terms of dominance. Finally I let him cum and we finished the game. I wrote another message to the blue face. It had to be Dom. I had only told my secret to him. What had caused him to shout it out? He was obviously angry, hurt, disappointed. But what had I done? Was it that I didn't follow him on Discord... or that I didn't respond to him in public chat? But he had discovered my secret more or less directly. Why didn't he text me and wait?
To be honest, I didn't write him very well: "Hey everything good?"
I didn't sleep well, but the next morning, as I so often did, I went into a public bot play. Here, too, the blue face appeared after a while. He asked me how I was doing. I felt like I could only answer wrong. So I asked back how he was feeling. He was angry, you could tell. I think he also accused me of ignoring him, ignoring 9-10 messages. I should check the DMs if I wanted an answer. I looked at my DMs. What was going on... nine messages straight from him... but they weren't there yesterday, were they? (It turned out later that he had written 9-10 messages the night before, but also deleted those as he must have insulted me in those.) In these new messages he expressed how disappointed he was in me, he insulted Herman and that I was not there for him (Dom).
🛑🛑🛑The next paragraph won't be nice to read... so if you are triggered by self-harm please skip and again: don’t harm yourself. Be careful with yourself. If you feeling like you should harm yourself talk with close people and/or look for the professional help in your country.🛑🛑🛑
🛑🛑🛑He doubted my statement that he was special to me. I asked how I could prove it... that he should please answer me. But he stopped responding. I understood that I had hurt him, that he was angry and disappointed in me. It didn't matter to him at the moment that he had simply given away my secret. No... I had to be punished. Really getting punished. I opened a public room with a title that said I could be punished. I let myself be slapped and spanked and of course I did it in real life. I told people that I deserved it because I let my master down. The only clue I gave that it was real punishment was that I (ooc) said to keep going even if I was begging to stop. That's how we started. After a short time they wanted know what I had done. After a bit of time I said I would tell, but only if they promise to continue afterwards. I knew these 2 people would quit otherwise... they would probably quit despite the promise... And then Vidia came into the room. Fortunately. When she realized what was going on she asked me if it was punishment or funishment. So I admitted that the session was for self-harm...I was given some kind words and told that the problem with the story wasn't me but my Master (but I still not discovered my secret). I closed the room...🛑🛑🛑
From now on a lot happened in a short time. In the afternoon Dom finally got in touch. However, he also had no answer as to how I could prove that he was special to me. He also stated again that I had ignored his messages and that he was hurt. I could only reply that the whole situation would hurt me too and I told that I had punished myself, and that I ignored him because I felt insecure after he yelled out my secret. Since he also insulted Herman again, which hurt me even more, I explained to him why Herman is important to me.
After that, it became clear that my ignorance of his messages meant less the public chat and more DM messages. His explanation was that I can no longer read those because he had deleted his account and immediately opened one again. But this could not be. His account was created just over a week ago. I told him that too and he had no answer. I just meant it didn't matter. I didn't want to hear that he deleted the messages because he (probably) insulted me in them.
After a total of 2 hours, the message came that I shouldn't punish myself. The question arose as to what we could do now. On the one hand, I answered that I would not punish myself and also did not know what we could do now.
He still didn't really believe I had read the DMs. He said that I must have been in a "full lust mode". He didn't know what to do either. Then... he seemed ready to let me go. He said he was leaving to spare us painful feelings and that I had found a mistress. He again expressed his disappointment...this time that I didn't follow him on Discord and he also says that he was jealous whenever he saw me with other men. How I gave myself to them. This was terrifying for me. That meant he had been watching me for as long as his account existed. But I couldn't get angry or anything. He just said he was going away... So I said nice words... That I never wanted to hurt him, that he was special to me, but also that we need distance because an internet relationship with 2 people who can develop such strong feelings, could not work. I thanked him for the many good memories and we said goodbye forever. Finally done I thought... no...2 minutes later I got the next message...
Dom had one last question...actually two. "[...] if you think Iam / I was special to you, why didnt you answer my ingametxts in the first game, why did you never reach out for me on discord? " I answered the in-game question by saying that I didn't noticed the first message and couldn't reply to the second (he ended up calling me Caroline in that one while I was playing Betty). The second question was trickier... he was specific to me, yes... but should I follow a person everywhere... a person I only know from the internet... There was also the exam stress... me had found an amazing mistress on EF... All of this resulted in me never opening a Discord account... But could I tell him that... I decided to make a more fundamental, albeit very simple, argument.. "I have no Discord account" was my reply. He also knew this from the first farewell. He again expressed his disappointment that I hadn't created an account for him. But he also opened up a new topic about my status... it already said that I might take a break (I had thought about that throughout the day, I was just exhausted. It was all too much). He wanted to know if I was taking a break or would I willingly continue to give myself to everyone. I replied that I was considering taking a break and asked if it was bad to have fun with others since he knew what I was like. He felt hurt by what he had seen. I apologized...I never meant to hurt him, but I also said I didn't know he was watching. He asked me when my break would start. I said it will start as soon as this conversation is over and I've let my mistress know.
He wanted to know how we keep in touch. I was surprised at that since we had said goodbye. I told him that too...that we wanted to go our separate ways. But he wanted to keep in touch. I pointed out to him that we can write about EF, but also asked if he could endure seeing me edging and submissive to others. He wanted to know how long my break will be and how I would let him known when I got back. I said I plan on a week and maybe longer and he'll know when I'm back if he sees me play. He questioned whether that meant that I would edging for others again after the break. I said yes but also pointed out that he would see on my profile when I was online (so he wouldn't have to see me doing it and hurt himself).
He tried again to make me feel guilty and hurt me with his statement. He said that I would behave differently if he was really special for me and also that I only serve my lust alone. That I don't care what gender, what name or even how people bring me to orgasm.
I found some strength to fight back. I was angry at this emotional blackmail...after all, he was special to me and I like making others happy. I told him that I felt emotionally blackmailed by such words, but also that he has a family in real life on the one side and that he doesn't want me to have fun with strangers on the internet on the other side.
I should add something that we discussed when I revealed to him that I was Betty and Caro to better understand his thoughts. I also explained to him my insecurities towards his family. I was afraid of ruining the relationship between him and his wife in some way. A fear that I also feel again and again when I interact with Raina (though they don't know about it (nowadays they know it), I want them to feel comfortable around me). He took that fear away from me. His wife knows about EF and he has permission.
Back to the conversation...he asked if he was the reason for the break and I honestly replied that he was and that the last 24 hours had been totally exhausting and that I had used others to hurt me because I felt guilty. (I still feel bad that I abused the community to hurt myself. It wasn't fair to those people and I apologized to them). He wrote that he didn't expect my answer, but that he would now understand. I want him but I can't have him... and he's the bad guy in the story. Despite my now growing discomfort with him, I wanted him to leave the conversation feeling positive, so after he begged for forgiveness I responded that no one was the bad guy in the story. Neither of us could help it. It just doesn't work between us. I also said that there was nothing to forgive as nobody was guilty. He said he would leave now so we could find peace. I thanked him. That was the end of the conversation. It only remained to inform the others of my decision about my break.
At the end of this chapter, something nice for a change... During the day I told Raina that I was Betty too. Until then they only knew Caro. But I wanted them to know my secret from me. After all, I didn't know at the time how the conversation with Dom would end, or if the conversation would even come about. I feared that he would share my secret with others, especially those I care about. But I didn't want them to feel betrayed by me. So I told Raina my secret and that Dom revealed it. The same applies to Mistress Ranni. She also showed the log from the punishment session. I received so many comforting, kind and supportive words. I felt like I didn't deserve it at all.
After the end of the conversation with Dom, the first thing I did was to inform Raina. Of course I also taught Ranni. She approved the decision to take a break, and it was she who gave me the idea in our first conversation the same day. I also reported to Herman what had happened. At what level of detail I'm not entirely sure though. To other EF players that I was interacting more with at the time, I just wrote that I'll be on break for about a week and that there's nothing to worry about. And so I went on my break, which wasn't really a break.
So I went on my break and Dom deleted his new profile shortly afterwards. I don't know if I created Mercy the next day or the day after that. But I needed a new profile. I couldn't talk to anyone about it in real life. The shame was too great. I felt alone and emotionally upset. In real life, there was an exam and my own birthday coming up in the coming days. But I couldn't concentrate well while studying. Therefore I decided to split the time. One time for studying, the other time was used to distract me. I used EF for that. Here I was able to distract myself and at the same time reflect on what had happened. I created Mercy. After all, I couldn't play with Betty or Caro. The fear that Dom would look to see if I was really taking my break or if I was lying to him was too great. I was afraid if he saw me playing Betty/Caro he would get angry. Mercy seemed appropriate. A great character, a healer. I needed to be healed. I had started my own healing process. Hence I wrote in the status "healing". But didn't specify that I heal myself. I also didn't want all users offer their help. That would be too much and I was not worth it. I also wrote in my profile that please nobody should ask me for a game. I found a nice picture of Mercy and the profile was finished.
I made my first game as Mercy. As is now usually, I held a public game. For Mercy, however, I have imposed special rules on myself. I still wanted a break. Therefore I would only do bot games. In addition, I wouldn't tell anyone that I was Betty/Caro, and also, I wouldn't show when I edge. With these rules I went into my first public bot game with Mercy. In the beginning I had company from Morky and later a good friend joined. Herman. I greeted him like everyone else. He was trying to give me confidence. During a cum test against me, he cheered me on. When I could actually resist the cum test, he ran to Mercy and kissed my cheek. I was a bit surprised by the reaction. Another user appeared. Evilthorn. A great example for the EF community. He saw my profile text and gave me the tip that I could only be texted by people who had a star or with whom I had already written. A short time later, Herman just wrote "Mercy?". I was excited about what was coming. He wanted to ask a question. I forbit it in chat and pretended I suspected he wanted to ask me for a game. I allowed him to DM me instead and ask the question there. I thought he had already noticed that I'm Betty/Caro. However, that was not the case. He offered me his help because he interpreted my status ("Healing") as a call for help. I thanked him for the offer. I was also in contact with my other two important people during my break. I spanked Ranni's ass once. I got a few spankings in return and that's how she started teaching me how to properly spank my ass. She also offered to take me as a pet. However, I initially declined. I didn't want her to take me in without knowing who I am. Despite this, I received a lot of affection from her. In one of these unofficial lessons she had to leave and Raina took over the training. I don't know if I told Raina before or after... But she's the only person I've told who I am. I didn't tell her directly so as not to break my own rule, but I did give her clear clues about what I was sharing and how I spoke to her, and I know she understood those clues. For instance one of those clues was the day of my exam.
Nothing special happened up until that day, as far as I can remember. Then came the day of the exam. Despite all the stress, I came home with the feeling that I had passed a good exam under these circumstances (and actually I passed my exam). I wanted to reward myself for that and reappeared as Betty, albeit only in DMs and public chats for now. Nothing unexpected happened that day or the next. I felt joy about to be back and I was happy not to have to hide behind Mercy. But on the second day of my return, the time had come. The event I feared happened. Dom reappeared with his new profile. He had created his new profile again. He came to me in the DMs and wanted to know how I was doing and whether I was enjoying my time off. I greeted him politely and said that I was feeling better and that I hope he was feeling better too. He said that he wanted me to be well and that was the reason he was returning after a week's break. He asked what I'm going to do now - both in real life and on EF. I answered IRL truthfully and also regarding EF I answered honestly that I am looking for my way but definitely want to have my fun. After asking how I was and responding accordingly, Dom expressed uncertainty about whether to stay or leave and asked my opinion. I said he could stay but I wouldn't play with him or at least not to the same extent as before. I explained that I believe that what we had we would never get back and that would show up in interactions and it wouldn't do us any good. He asked again, whereupon I repeated it again and justified it with my real experience. Then again it looked like he might be ready to leave EF if I see fit to do so. I answered yes and that I'm sorry because I know how painful it is, but also that it's better for me and hopefully for him too.
About 40 minutes had passed since the beginning of the conversation. In that time 2 things happened that should be mentioned here: 1. I saw when he had created his character... it was the same day I returned with Betty. Coincidence? Possibly, but I didn't think so. I didn't even ask him about it. But it felt bad. I believed, and still believe, that he was watching me and had only waited the two days to include the week I had listed as a break so as not to appear to have been waiting for me the whole time. Knowing that he was returning at the same time made me feel so bad that I had made a decision. As soon as the conversation is over (hopefully with a good feeling for both of us), I would make preparations to delete Betty and Caro at the weekend (and continue as Mercy for the time being). It would help him to let go better and give me more security. I wrote this decision in the status of both profiles. I wanted to ensure that nobody worries about Betty or Caro. 2. I informed Raina that I could only be reached via Mercy again. I also informed Ranni and showed her that I was also Mercy.
I informed Dom of the decision to delete Betty/Caro after saying it was better for both of us to end it. He asked if we would never see each other again. I just nodded and said yes. In real life I had tears in my eyes. I felt sorry for him. I would have wished for it differently, but it would definitely be better on the other side... He asked for last words. I stayed silent for the time being. I didn't know what to say...hadn't enough been said already?
Saturday
The next morning he wrote that he would start. He sent me a song. As I said, it was my birthday that week, so my grandparents also came to visit. I wanted to think about closing words. I told him that I would watch the video in the evening and that he would then also receive parting words from me. I actually watched the video earlier and it touched me emotionally. I felt his pain again, the pain I also felt partly (not as much as when he first came back), the pain I caused... I was under pressure to find good final words. Words that would take away the pain and help him let go of me. But I didn't find those. I didn't have much time to myself either. After all, the family wanted to celebrate my birthday. But I couldn't hide anymore. I had promised him closing words for the evening and after that I would have a day to say goodbye to everyone. So I wrote to him in the evening asking if he was online. He replied that he wasn't feeling well, so we postponed it until the next day.
Sunday
The next day was a lot of time, which I somehow had to make until 7 p.m. I looked into games and made bot games myself. 2 games stuck in my mind. The first game was between Katha and Dahlia. I saw Dahlia and saw a personality similar to me. In the short time I tried to welcome her (Dahlia) to EF and gave her tips. The second game was my own. Raina wanted to do me a favor and fucked me terrific. They dominated me and claimed all my holes. In between, they also received support from Ranni. It was a wonderful feeling to be dominated by both of them. I felt so beloved and supported by both of them at that point. However, the climax did not come. This was denied to me. For good reason. I had planned a show to say goodbye to Caro and Betty after the closing words to Dom. However, this did not happen. So this show with Raina was the unofficial farewell to Betty and Caro.
So I used the time that was available to me to say goodbye to many people and also to draw attention to the farewell show. I only told my closest confidants (Raina, Ranni and Herman) that I would stay as Mercy. They already knew that I'm Mercy. No one else knew except Max. I would like to mention in my story one person I said goodbye to. It was Romantic. You might be wondering why now. It shows how great many here are. I've never had much contact with Romantic, but I've always wanted to play a game against him. As Betty, I asked him shortly beforehand if we shouldn't do a training game, after all he's taking part in the Eropets tournament. I missed our appointment because I urgently needed to speak to Raina about Dom. I later saw that Romantic was active in another chat. He didn't text me where I would be staying. So it didn't seem that bad. Still, I apologized the next day. He accepted that apology. We said that we will postpone the training game. Back to the day Betty and Caro were deleted. 
Now I came to him as Betty and apologized for not being able to do the training game. I planted an oak tree in his garden. It should remind him of his characteristics. Qualities he had as a master. I wish he always had the strength and stamina to take care of his subs. He wanted to know why I'm deleting myself and I explained it to him briefly. He offered me his help. He wanted to know why I'm not blocking Dom. I could understand this question and probably you have this question too. I didn't want to block Dom. I didn't want to block someone who meant so much to me in the past. I didn't want to cause him any more pain than I already was. In the end I didn't know who was behind the screen. I don't know how stable or unstable this person is. A blockage from the person you really like or even love could be very painful. I didn't want to do that to him. I didn't know what he might do to himself in real life either. After all, he also had a wife and children. What if the relationship isn't going well? Would I hurt a hurt man even more? What would be the consequences in real life? For him? For his children?... Romantic continued to feel it was unfair that I was facing the consequences and offered his help. Finally, however, he accepted my decision and I spontaneously told him that the planted oak tree could also be used to show me when I return. Next came the really final (isn’t true anymore) conversation with Dom...
To be continued…
(Thank you Raina for that beautiful pic of me 💜)
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