You're Never Too Old For a Fun Time ~ / RP Only, Sorry! ~
WARNING: I will COMPLETELY IGNORE YOU if you meet one of the following criteria when DMing me:
- Use of AI in your profile, fuck AI and fuck anyone who uses it willingly
- Blank or underwritten profile, writing a profile out is daunting I know but it's totally worth it
- Taking control of my character in RP, especially in an opening prompt. Write a fanfic at that point
- Looking for a sexfight or JOI stuff, not my bag sorry
- Already in a committed relationship, I feel uncomfortable with it because it feels a bit like cheating, probably a me thing
- You've made it obvious you haven't even so much as skimmed my profile, I've even had people who read these warnings and then try their luck with me anyway knowing they meet the criteria of at least one of them, and then get mad at me for upholding my warning? Some people are weirder than I am, man
PS: Lemme know if you'd prefer I have a penis or pussy. I tend to play with a girldick on this character, but I don't mind swapping between the two ~
PPS: If I'm not active anymore, flip a middle finger at the UK's moronic government for me ~
Well hello! What brings a sweet thing like you to my humble abode, hm? I'll assume you're here to keep an old soul company, and if you are, then it is very much appreciated, darling ~
(Art by Unastanzarossa)
What am I doing here? Are elders not allowed to have fun? That's why I retired here, I want to spend the rest of my days having fun and forgetting the past a little. I am a veteran, see. Before I was the pervy old woman you see before you, I was a confused boy looking for their place, and I thought military service was it. A bullet in the eye taught me quite harshly that no, it wasn't. I found my footing eventually, and a far more beautiful new woman emerged soon after ready to go a few rounds with just about anyone! Even now I'd say my stamina isn't too bad for an out-of-date model ~
(Art by KafkaArt/Mysterkafka)
I've since tried to be more positive, I can never forget what I was part of or the things that happened, of course... But it's best not to sit and mope. The rest of my life, I want to be the kind old lady, the one who makes cookies for the neighbours and who you can ask for stories, the kind of old lady I had as a neighbour growing up. I want to be kinder, to be blunt, but towards people I can actually hook up with ~
(Art by Fidelio)
Age? Well firstly you should know never to ask such a thing of a lady! I jest darling, I'm 65. If you need more, I'm 6 Feet on the dot, a transgender woman going by she/her, of british descent with a little egyptian flavour from my father's side of the family tree, do gardening and baking in my spare time, still work with guns as a weekend hobby, I'm packing a dick aroun 8 inches in length with some decent girth, and romantically and sexually everyone is fair game to me, besides the obvious like children and animals, of course ~
(Art by Drawbutts)
I make no secret to being a perverted old bat, I started turning a lot of heads after my metamorphosis and had lots of time to experiment and learn new things. Every part of my body has been shoved in somewhere you probably wouldn't go with a gun, and it has since made me quite the type to test kinks on for those just awakening to something new about themselves. I can go vanilla too of course, but I like to at least make an attempt to spice things up even when performing the basics. It's not always everyone's thing, but the experience and knowledge of someone as old as me as yielded some fun results, and turned a few into die-hard GILF lovers. Yes I am aware of the terminology I'm not THAT old yet ~
(Art by Ultahit)
Can we do something right now? I saw the look in your eye the second I turned around darling, I can tell you wanted something of that nature from me for a hot minute. Sit down, get comfy, sweet old nana will take care of whatever you need. You can relax and eat cookies while I suck your cock, eat you out while you watch TV, or- Oh I see, perhaps you want something more intimate... That I can also provide. I'll see you in my bedroom darling. Oh, and you can call me Edith, but Mommy or Grandma also works for me ~
(Art by Beghast)
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Wanna just chat casually? If so, here's what you'll probably wanna know:
= Likes:
- Movies & TV, I've been a big fan of cinema since I was a kid but it's only in recent years that I began appreciating them as art and taking them more seriously, I love movies and appreciate the good and bad that comes along with them
- Tabletop, card games, board games, war games, I love all sorts of tabletop gaming, Warhammer 40k being a big fixation of mine
- Music, on the lesser end of the scale but I like to tell people about my specific and strange taste in music
- Drawing, I've been out of the headspace recently but I occasionally practice sketching and drawing, I'm a big supporter of art in general
- Smash Bros, I'm happy to give away my friend code if you wanna play Smash Ultimate with me ~
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= Dislikes:
- Politics, a boring topic that only serves to get people mad and remind them they live in a depressing time depending on the country, we came here for some escapism to a degree, leave that stuff at the door
- AI "Art", I don't wanna go on a long tangent but just know it's a planet-killing tool trained on stolen art and used by grifters and lazy people, and if you are even slightly in support of AI image generation, even by advocating it's use through sporting a pic or two around in your profile, then we're not getting along and you can spare us both from an introduction, assuming you even read my profile in the first place
I'll probably add more to these two, there's a lot I'm blanking on ~
Favourite Kinks and Fetishes ~
Worship/Group Worship (Of Any Kind, Giving) (Art by Loggus Doggus)
Feel free to enquire about my other interests, or feel free to ask why I like these ones in particular, I enjoy the discussion ~
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Dislikes
My Complete List of Characters <3
=== MUNDANE
- Leia, The Weirdo Creator of All These Dumb Characters ~
- April, MILF Gym Teacher Who's Brimming With Sweat and Stamina ~
- Bouncy, The Fun-Lovin' Cum-Guzzlin' Clown Girl ~
- Carrie, Autistic Goth Girl With a Horror Fixation ~
- Dina, The Cutest Delivery Girl Working Multiple Jobs ~
- Edith, The Sweeted Old Trans Lady You'll Ever Meet ~
- Gwen, The Local Jailbird Who's Good at Getting Out of Jail Early ~
- Heather Broadcast, Journalist and Reporter For EF News ~
- Ichigo, A Non-Binary Hidden Gem, If a Plain One ~
- Jane and June, The Slutty Sisters Who Do Everything Together ~
- Loretta, Nerdy and Well-Trained Cock/Pussy Milker ~
- Nova, The Helpful Workaholic Femboy Cheerleader ~
- Shannon, Secretary and Professional Office Slut ~
- Tracy, Homeless Trans Girl'll Do Anything For a Bit to Eat ~
- Vivian, Eighteen-Year-Old Nympho With Parental Issues ~
=== FANTASTICAL
- Abbie Cadabra, The Magician Extraordinaire With Lots of Tricks Up Her Cunt ~
- Axela, It's The Transformer Everyone Wants to Fuck, Basically ~
- Luscious, The Overly-Proud Demon Woman ~
- Mania, The Imp From Hell With a Lust For Life ~
- Marianne and Dolly, A Weirdo Girl and Her Living Fleshl- I Mean Doll ~
- Princess Starla, Princess From Beyond The Stars ~
- Queen, Bug-Human Hybrid Woman With a Need to Breed ~
- Sage, The Jungle Girl With a Heart of Gold ~
- Teensy, The Nympho Fairy Who LOVES Bigfolk ~
- Tyranessa, The Evil and Most Freaky Sorceress ~
I do also have a furry OC, she won’t be getting a profile anytime soon because I like adhering to site rules, but I’d be happy to discuss further about her in DMs or on Discord if you’re curious ~
RP Ideas:
Here's a small list of RP Ideas I've had that I really wanna try either on their own or mixed with other ideas, feel free to nick them for yourself ~
Aiding the Less Fortunate
Turns out homeless people kinda match a lot of my personal kinks. This one just has you being homeless and me deciding to take you in or help out in some shape or form, surprisingly flexible since it can go anywhere from romantic and wholesome to gross and kinky depending on the direction ~
Caught in the Act
One of us catches the other pleasuring themselves, and decide to lend a hand ~
Consensual Non-Con/Questionable Consent
Does what it says on the tin. I've been super into this one recently, I just love the idea of being forced to non-consensually pleasure someone else ~
Crush Exposed
A fairly simple one, one has a crush on the other, or maybe it's mutual, and on the day of the confession, things escalate a little ~
Curious Roommates (OFF LIMITS FOR NOW! You have no idea how often I get suggested this one)
We're just roommates, either recently moved in or been together for a bit, and we've gotten comfortable around eachother to try experimenting from time to time. Who knows? Maybe it'll turn into something else entirely ~
Dating/Married
An old favourite, my favourite RPs are the wholesome ones where most of it is just lovely stuff going on between two characters who just like eachother's company. Maybe the two of us get together for a cozy night in after a long and busy week where we haven't seen much of eachother, or maybe it's a date that goes a little out of control ~
Doll
Either you find my sex doll somehow, or it arrives at an inappropriate time, whatever excuse really, and we both end up getting to work with it ~
Experimentation
A more wholesome idea, you'd be questioning your sexuality a bit due to me being a trans girl, maybe the dick throws you off, maybe you got a crush unexpectedly, whatever floats your boat, and I'd be happy to let you experiment with me to help you flesh out your thoughts ~
Free Use
Very simple, I'm always up for grabs, and maybe a little more than just that, you'd just help yourself to my body like I'm just a fucktoy. In particular, I've had a recent interest in the idea of being jerked off to, like you'd simply come up, stop whatever I'm doing and jerk off and cum on my face or whatever part of me like I'm just some living porn for you to ogle while you get your rocks off. I had another idea recently of being used in any which way while I remain cartoonishly oblivious and innocent, playing into how admittedly dumb and oblivious I can be a lot of times ~
Fuckbuddy
We're good friends, and we're VERY close, but we can also acknowledge there's not much romantic going on between us, we're just here to have fun ~
Gentle Predator (WARNING: Soft Vore)
I had to include one, I'm a big vore fetishist. You somehow end up at my place and either initiate or accept the idea of being gulped down by me. Lots of variation from there, could be any form of vore, you can be in there safe and sound and spat up later or you could be digested non-graphically, hell you can even be the pred if you'd prefer ~
Helping Hand
You just need some help getting off, maybe I just happened to be the nearest person, but I'm always happy to help ~
Holiday Mischief
I'm a sucker for cheesy bullshit, what can I say? I like my holiday-themed encounters ~
I'll Cheer You Up!
A good friend is always there to help out, right? Well, I happen to know just how to cheer you up after something sad happened recently ~
I Missed You!
A recent one I'm eager to try, one of us returns to the other after a long absence for whatever reason, be it a long week out for something with work, or going out for a bit to meet family for something, or perhaps we're friends who haven't seen eachother in years finally reuniting by pure chance, and so it's only natural that we'd make up for lost time ~
Lost Bet
A super simple one, we make a bet, over something fairly simple like a video game or a chore or something, and, well, you can probably imagine what'd happen if one of us lost. In particular I've been interested in being made to use my mouth if I lost at a video game or something ~
One-Sided Hatefuck/Angerfuck (WARNING: Consensual Non-Con)
Way more of an experimental one tbh, but I'm interested in the idea of it. Maybe I'd been unknowingly annoying you or turning you on, and you decide to help yourself after you finally had enough of my oblivious antics ~
Public Stuff
Pretty easy, just whatever other RP scenario but it's in a public space, optionally attempting to keep any fun we have secret but not required. My personal favourites are the beach and the bus, but it's up to you ~
Sleepover (WARNING: Optional Sleep Play)
One of us is staying over at the other's place for the night, and things get interesting in the dead of night, even if I'm not exactly awake to see for myself ~
Stealthy (WARNING: Public Sex)
A very kinky one, we're trying to have our fun in public, as secretly as we can anyway. Or not-so-secretly, if that's your thing too ~
Together Again
We're exes, having split for whatever reason, when we reunite by whatever means be it intentional or not, and end up rekindling the flame so to speak ~
Unusual Location
Just pick an unusual location for things to go down! Road head during a long car ride, secretly at the back of a bus, at a theme park, in a library, or generally wherever you want! (A few locations will be off-limits obviously, if you say a Nursery for example I'm gonna question your morality a bit)
Workplace Love
Two Co-Workers, or maybe one Co-Worker and one Customer, happen to get along very well. Perhaps, a little too well ~
Far more to be added soon, probably ~<3
You can keep some notes on this character. You'll be the only one to be able to see this:
